Wrote this poem. You might enjoy, you might not. It has like, swears in it and stuff.
Fucking Thing
by Justin Sullivan
The music floods the air. The bass is pumping.
The only thing more exciting than the music is the notion that at least for one night, I am not alone. Maybe I won’t have to be alone.
There is hope. We are jumping up and down now. It is so nice. I feel welcomed and enjoyed.
And then, the unthinkable. I stub my toe. But this time, it is so bad. The pain shoots through my foot. Something is wrong. I am hurt.
Why did God give me feet? They are my greatest tool, yet somehow, they are my mortal flaw, the achilles’ heel of my world. Think about that.
Fucking Thing
by Justin Sullivan
The music floods the air. The bass is pumping.
The only thing more exciting than the music is the notion that at least for one night, I am not alone. Maybe I won’t have to be alone.
There is hope. We are jumping up and down now. It is so nice. I feel welcomed and enjoyed.
And then, the unthinkable. I stub my toe. But this time, it is so bad. The pain shoots through my foot. Something is wrong. I am hurt.
Why did God give me feet? They are my greatest tool, yet somehow, they are my mortal flaw, the achilles’ heel of my world. Think about that.
As I wake up from school,
I arrive home.
The things unpack themselves as I scream into my pillow
I have arrived.
Then the unthinkable.
I stub my toe, against a wall.
Fucking thing. Why did God give us feet? What a flying lunatic
A man in the sky gave us feet so we could hurt ourselves. Think about that.
I lay on my back listening to other people’s lives.
The drama, the pain, the suffering, the joy, it is all mine for the taking.
These people don’t even know I am consuming their lives like a drug.
A drug that is not mine to use, but I use it anyway. I am wearing shoes now.
On my bed. Like a complete lunatic. But that is okay.
Actually, my feet are kind of hot and itchy. I shrug. I guess it is okay to take off my shoes once.
I get up, and shuffle, at first cautiously, the childish habits of kindergarten rushing back.
Then I am walking around, until the unthinkable happens
I stub my toe against my bedpost. Fucking thing. If I can thank God for food on my table, I can curse him out for being such a cunt.
Why do we choose to blame man for things and not God? Think about that.
I am in my Grandma’s house. It creaks and moans, throwing up memories that are not its to have.
The wooden floor reflects me. I am ugly. I am fat. I have eaten and thrown away all that God gave me. Because I stubbed my toe at prom night.
Not stopping any time soon, I gorge myself on the pizza. I feel like shit, but that does not stop me.
I am hurting, and my reflection in the nice mirror tells me that. I stumble up the stairs.
And then the unthinkable happens.
I stub my toe against the carpet stairs. In almost slow motion, I feel them drag. Fucking thing. I can’t believe God is so selfish. He gifted his angels with flight, yet us humans are tethered by the shackles of gravity and feet. How dare he favor those who have no reason to be blessed? What a piece of shit. Think about that.
The sleep deprivation eats at me, like a different person craving my good judgement.
I am here on the morning after my birthday at 3 in the morning because I was lazy.
I was a lazy, good-for-nothing slob, and I procrastinated my Creative Writing homework.
‘This was my favorite class, how could I be so naive?
And then…
You know, I don’t really know what comes next. I know I am in a cycle.
I stub my toe, and I scream at the heavens. Sometimes it feels good to know that I can blame someone.
Even though I ate myself into this misshapen monster. I hurt those around me with my selfishness and carelessness. And perhaps this monster will finally take me.
I am a creature of habit, and I will take my destructive cycles to the grave.
How dare God give me feet. How dare he rip happiness from my life. How dare he extend his influence to ruin me. I will pay for my sins -- on my own fucking time.
Thanks for reading!
Any thoughts? Let me know in the comments below.
-Justin